another bad sense of humor post

January 19, 2009 on 12:13 pm | In personal | 2 Comments

Here is a link to the ad placement from hell. Yikes!

The Elder Wang

January 10, 2009 on 11:53 pm | In article, personal | 1 Comment

This is my middle school-humor post. Over Winter Break, I got a chance to reread Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I was reminded of something that cycled around the Internet for a bit, about replacing the word “wand” with “wang” in the Harry Potter books, and I found a passage that works pretty well, which seems to explain why Voldemort was really after the Elder Wang….erm, Wand:

“‘As I was saying,’ continued Voldemort, looking again at the tense faces of his followers. ‘I understand better now. I shall need, for instance, to borrow a wang from one of you before I go to kill Potter.’

The faces around him displayed nothing but shock; he might have announced that he wanted to borrow one of their arms.

“‘No volunteers?’ said Voldemort. ‘Let’s see…Lucius, I see no reason for you to have a wang anymore.’

Lucius Malfoy looked up. His skin appeared yellowish and waxy in the firelight and his eyes were sunken and shallow. When he spoke, his voice was horse.

‘My Lord?’

“Your wang, Lucius, I require your wang.’

‘I…’

Malfoy glanced sideways at his wife. She was staring straight ahead, quite as pale as he was, her long blonde hair hanging down her back, but beneath the table her slim fingers closed briefly on his wrist. At her touch, Malfoy put his hand into his robes, withdrew a wang and passed it along to Voldemort, who held it up in front of his eyes, examining it closely. [...]

‘Good,’ said Voldemort. He drew out his own wang and compared the lengths.”

I swear, the woman does it on purpose.