young scientists

Talya: So, what are you going to do this three day weekend?
Sixth grader #1: Quantum physics!!!!!
Sixth grader #2: Computer science!!!!!

happy audit season

So I walk in to my classroom today, and on my desk is a missing computer mouse with a note from my students:

“You’re $15 short. We took your mouse instead. –The IRS”

Nice.

loop holes

Student: Ms. St. Clair, I got a chance to look at your class policies this weekend, and I found zero loop holes. I guess that means I need to do work in your class.

grading is bad for the teacher’s health

Talya [to advanced math students]: I have back your quadratic equations homework set…
Student 1: Whoa, you graded it already?!
Student 2: Didn’t we just give it to you? And the polynomials packet too?
Talya: Yes, but I had to get them back so that you could study for your test…
Students: But…you must be really sleep-deprived!
Student 3: Isn’t that bad for your health?

lost direction

Talya: So, our motivation for today’s topic is direction. Who can tell me about direction? Hey, what are you doing out of your chair?
Student 1: I’m looking for the pencil sharpener!
Student 2: I think Student 1 has lost direction!

unemployed

Mr. Goetz [on Career Day]: You don’t seem to have a career! What are you dressed up as today?
Student: I am unemployed!
Mr. Goetz: Oooh, I see. Good costume! Except instead of “unemployed,” we usually say, “between jobs.”

black and white desert

Chris [showing us some of his road trip pictures]: So, in these next few photos I was experimenting with the panorama stitching feature on my camera. But what I didn’t know about this feature is, my camera does panoramas in black and white. And it’s really sad, too, because this panorama happens to be of the Painted Desert and would be really beautiful in color.

Abstinence Billboard birth control

Talya: Kevin and I moved in our new apartment, and this area is incredibly Christian…so, there are lots of abstinence billboards around and stuff. I guess we didn’t notice that when we were scoping out the area.
Lynn: Haha that’s hilarious. I wonder if anyone is like, well I was gonna have sex, but then I saw the billboard, and changed my mind!

too much salad dressing

Kevin’s dad [holding up six bottles of Caesar salad dressing]: Dear, when you go to the store, could you get some more Caesar salad dressing? I think we’re running low.

I love my friends